What the Florida!? – Week of October 25 – 31


Oliver Jamias, Contributor

Woman Asks For Shower, Takes Car

While staying at a local inn, a man was asked by a woman if she could enter his room and use his shower. Having a good heart, the man accepted, and ended up falling asleep while the woman was still in his room. However, this all ended up being a ruse to take advantage of his kindness, as the next known security footage of her shows her sneaking out of the room to steal the man’s car. Even more unluckily for the man, the car was not even his; his cousin let him borrow it for a day, according to him. The car was found empty and broken down a few hours later, with the woman missing from location.

Woman’s Paddleboard Gets Stolen, Finds Identical One Online

A woman was looking for a replacement for her stolen paddleboard online when she found one that seemed to be identical to hers. Thinking that it was hers, she proceeded to alert authorities and attempt to find the exact location of the seller. Funnily enough, the seller’s name was a familiar one to her, and as it turned out, they were just down the street. Upon arriving at the location, the man in the residence claimed that the seller was his homeless father who no longer lived with his son. However, he said that the paddleboard could not have been stolen, as his father had been in possession of it for multiple years.

Man Walks Into Pharmacy and Casually Steals Medications

The manager of a local Florida grocery store noticed suspicious activity when a man walked in, grabbed a gift bag, and started putting several over-the-counter medications in it. When the man then proceeded to walk out without paying, the manager attempted to stop him, going up to him as he went to his car. However, this seemed to do nothing, as the medicine mugger proceeded to walk past her and get away safely in his car. It is believed that the man has stolen over $1200 worth of medicine from the store.

Man Explains Poor Driving As Him Not Driving

Bystanders noticed something strange happening when there was a car parked perpendicularly behind other cars, instead of being parked parallelly. Police then arrived on the scene to investigate, and when spotlights were focused on the parked car, it began slowly moving forwards until being blocked by a police car. Officers examined the vehicle, and spotted a lone man inside in the driver’s seat. In an attempt to escape guilt, the man immediately exited the car and faced the police, announcing that he was not the one driving the vehicle. However, while doing so, he accidentally exposed officers to the strong smell of alcohol present in his breath. This, as well as the obviously false excuse he gave for his parking, encouraged officers to perform a roadside sobriety test, which was promptly refused by the man. He was then arrested for DUI, as well as declining to comply with officers.